Gossip Goat here. It looks likes S and J are fighting in the upper east paddock. A cat fight seems like a misnomer when there are two young does fighting over their man. Girl’s, haven’t you heard, N’s a wether; there’s no use in risking scratching your ray bahhns just for his (lack) of goathood. You know you love me, Xoxo, Gossip Goat.
Gossip Goat here, Looks like tonight is the night for the famous annual Upper vs Lower Barn side showdown, in an attempt to finally determine the superior end of the barn. Chosen competitors have been spotted limbering up preparing for tonight’s events. With the Upper side in red and the Lower in blue it is sure to be a colour clash to remember. Xoxo Gossip Goat.
Gossip Goat here. It looks like the Upper Barn siders are fighting tooth and hoof to find a way to cool down in the uncommonly warm weather. However, J might be taking it a bit too far; apparently that goat’s udders are visible from two barns over. Tits out for the stags isn’t always a good motto to live by, especially when your baahhfriend thinks that you’ve cheated on him. ...
XOXO GOSSIP GOAT
omg xoxox gossip goat
hallelo: gossip goat
x0x0 gossip goat
Spotted: T trying to sneak off through Grand Central Gate with all her bags. Looks like this goat is skipping town. Perhaps something to do with last night’s drama…? xoxo Gossip Goat
L, the new goat in the barn has been caught sneaking around with Queen B’s boyfriend Z. Looks like there will be some drama tonight. 10:30, Tractor shed, L and B, GOATFIGHT. You know you love me, xoxo Gossip Goat.
Dance in the barn tonight, and pre-drinks have started. Looks like S and T have galloped towards the nearest water hole. Maybe there will really be a ‘ho-down’ tonight. You know you love me Xoxo, Gossip Goat
All of the upper barn siders are getting beyond tipsy. It looks like N spilled his drink on M’s new Dolce & Goatbana dress just to get a good look at that donkey’s “assets.” You know you love me Xoxo, Gossip Goat
Gossip Goat signing off Remember: The grass may be greener on the other side, but over here everyone is udderly brilliant. You know you love me Xoxo Gossip Goat
Spotted: L flirting with J. It looks like if he keeps testing D’s patience he might be milking it. You know you love me Xoxo, Gossip Goat
With the recent hot nights, it has been evident a lot of the Goaton hotels rooms have been occupied by the hot, randy goats of the paddock. P was caught sneaking out of G’s top floor loft early this morning, looking sufficiently disheveled. Now now P, how many times do I have to tell you that everyone knows that that tight, hot pink, udder tube of yours means you’ll be getting lucky? ...
coryislove: xoxo gossip goat.
Spotted: L is at it again, and it looks like she’s after T, but maybe that’s because we here at Gossip Goat have heard that he’s hung like a horse. But can we really blame her, if it fields good then do it. You know you love me, Xoxo Gossip Goat.
It looks like S and L have been sneaking around to each other’s hay lofts. Watch out N, you might have to get goating on plans for seducing that particular horse. Now we all know that a cow can’t change its spots, but it really seems that S is trying. Kidding. Quite literally actually. That particular goat has been spotted near her local vet looking like her Goatcci dress is a little...
Gossip Goat here. There’s a party in the barn, and everyone who’s anyone is getting saddled up for what’s shaping up to be an eventful night. However it looks like J and L are skipping the festivities for a night alone. Maybe you should be careful L, because we heard that J has been jumping hurdles in other Upper Barn sider’s paddocks. You know you love me, Xoxo Gossip...
Gossip Goat here. J and L spotted arguing on the edge of the upper east paddock. M didn’t look to happy about her stallion locking horns with his friend over her chèvre, but from this goat’s point of view it was inevitable after that ‘one off’ romp in the barn. Or did you think that every one had forgotten about that? Silly M, did you forget my golden rule? Don’t get...
Spring is finally here and all the good little goats and boys are out to play. Too bad S is busy playing house. Let’s hope this new kid ends up baaahd like her mum. Xoxo Gossip Goat
Gossip Goat here Things are heating up on the upper east side of the paddock today and I don’t just mean the temperature. L and P were spotted rolling around on the hill before disappearing behind some bushes for a good hour or two. Bruises have been spotted on L’s neck and P’s Dolce and Goatbana scarf had visible signs of dirt. Maybe these kiddies should be more careful in...
Gossip Goat here. Spotted: Sexy N chatting to the lonely goat in the field. You better watch out C. He has been known as a bit of a bull around these parts, he may be going to the sympathy horn up. How many times do we have to tell you he’s only in it for your chèvre? xoxo Gossip Goat.
Gossip Goat here, It looks like B is meeting up for a not-so-private romp in the hay with L. Seems like that particular Upper Barn Side doesn’t understand that while messy might be in this season, we know what a debauched Goat in a Furberry dress looks like. Even though L seemed to appreciate your new Victoria Secret undies as you left his barn we still suggest that you pull down your dress...
Gossip Goat tip: don’t put all your eggs in one basket, because one of them might be a goose egg, and angry geese who have had their eggs taken are scary. You know you love me, Xoxo Gossip Goat
This is Gossip Goat signing off for tonight. Remember, its all fun and games until she is kidding. You know you love me, Xoxo Gossip Goat.
Spotted: C and K locking horns over T. Looks like this goat’s past may be catching up with her. You know you love me, Xoxo Gossip Goat.
Breaking news story. I was just horridly awoken by a loud ruckus. After intense investigation, T was caught in the pigs mud pit with K having a ‘late night snack’. Now, Back to my beauty sleep. You know you love me, Xoxo Gossip Goat.
Anonymous asked: lol. i like this.
frustratings asked: this is amazing!
Looks like L and J have been having it out in the loft in Baahney’s on Madison avenue. Goats, please, didn’t your mothers ever tell you that the only time to fight in a department store is if there’s only one Goatlier gown left. You know you love me, Xoxo Gossip Goat.
This is Gossip Goat signing off for now. Remember, the closer the grass to the tree, the more chance of eating pee. You know you love me, Xoxo Gossip Goat.
The hot summer is approaching and the barns finest are limbering up for swimsuit season. C has spotted running laps of the field with J,but keep running honey, those twins did nothing for your figure. While on the other side of the farm P was seen modeling her new yellow polka dotted bikini for her boyfriend L before the two of them disappeared in to the barn. Everyone knows L is a sucker for...
Looks like S and D are getting back together. When will she learn he’s just in it for her chèvre? You know you love me, Xoxo Gossip Goat.
treeofmylife asked: SAH MUCH LURV FOR THIS PAGE. But seriously :)
Spotted: a new goat in the barn, look out B there might be a new Queen on the horizon. You know you love me, Xoxo Gossip Goat
Gossip Goat here, with your one and only source into the scandalous lives of the Barn’s elite. You know you love me, Xoxo Gossip Goat.